For Couples Considering Booking

What a ceremony
actually feels like.

A wedding ceremony is the most underprepared-for part of most weddings. Couples spend months on flowers, dresses, food, music — and ten minutes thinking about the twenty minutes that turn them into spouses. This page is for couples who want to know what they are choosing.

Begin the Conversation → The Shape of a Ceremony
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The Ceremony Itself

A ceremony is
not a transaction.

It is the moment when two people become spouses in front of the people who love them. Everything else about a wedding day — the venue, the food, the photographs, the dancing — gathers around this twenty or so minutes. When the ceremony is treated as a hurdle to clear before the reception, the whole day loses its anchor. When it is treated with care, the whole day rises around it.

My job as your celebrant is to make a ceremony that sounds like you — your voice, your story, your beliefs and your humour. I write every ceremony I officiate from scratch, working from two conversations with you and whatever you have shared about yourselves. There is no template I drop your names into. The result is twenty minutes of words that nobody else has heard and nobody else will hear — words that belong to your day alone.

This page describes what that looks like in practice — the shape of a ceremony, what you choose and what I bring, the readings couples often select, and the answers to the questions hesitant couples most often ask.

The Shape of a Ceremony

Five movements, woven together.

A wedding ceremony has a shape — not a rigid one, but a familiar arc. Here is how I think about each part, and a glimpse of how it might sound in your ceremony.

I · The Gathering

The Welcome

The ceremony opens with the welcome — a few minutes that bring the attention of every guest from where they were (the parking, the bar, the conversations on the lawn) to where they need to be: present, witnessing, ready. This is where I name what is happening and why everyone is here. It is not a place for long speeches; it is a place to settle the room.

"Friends, family, those who travelled near and those who travelled far — welcome. You are not here as spectators. You are here as witnesses, and that is a different and more serious thing…"

II · Who You Are

Your Story

Every ceremony I officiate includes a section that belongs only to the couple — how you met, what changed, the moment you both knew. I write this from the two planning conversations we have together. The aim is not to recite biography but to tell the story in a way that makes your guests, even the ones who know you well, understand something new about you.

"They met on a Tuesday, which is what Eleanor always notes when she tells this story — that it wasn't a Friday, wasn't a weekend, wasn't a moment anyone would have called auspicious…"

III · The Promises

The Vows & Ring Exchange

The vows are the heart of the ceremony, and they belong to you. Some couples write their own; some prefer traditional vows; some want a blend — a traditional question followed by personal promises. We will talk about which fits you. I will guide you through what works and what to avoid (do not try to memorise long vows; the emotion of the moment will undo your best preparation). The ring exchange follows, with words I write to suit the meaning you have given the rings.

"Do you, James, take Eleanor to be your wife — to honour her, to choose her, to keep choosing her — for as long as you both shall live?"

IV · Symbolic Acts

The Rituals

Many ceremonies include a ritual — a symbolic act that gives the words a physical weight. Couples choose from a range: a handfasting with a cord that you keep afterwards; the sharing of a quaich; an oathing stone you place your hands on as you make your vows; a unity candle or sand ceremony; a reading by a family member. The ritual you choose is the one your guests will remember most clearly the next day.

Read more about Scottish & Celtic rituals →

V · You Are Married

The Pronouncement

Every ceremony ends with the same kind of moment, though the exact words change. It is the moment when the room realises the ceremony is over — when two people are now spouses, when applause begins, when the music starts. I take time over this. A pronouncement that is rushed makes the whole ceremony feel rushed. A pronouncement that lands properly is what your guests will hold onto.

"By the promises you have made to one another, by the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Virginia, and in the presence of everyone gathered here — I now pronounce you married. James, you may kiss your wife."

Bespoke vs. Standard

What you choose,
and what I bring.

I

Religious or Not

Fully secular, spiritual but non-religious, Christian, interfaith — your call. Bring me to a ceremony with no mention of God or one woven with scripture. I do not bring a default position; I write what fits you.

II

The Length

Twelve minutes for an elopement, twenty to twenty-five for most weddings, thirty if you want longer readings and ritual. We will calibrate this together — most couples underestimate how much shorter is better.

III

Rituals & Readings

One ritual or none. One reading or three. Whether a family member or a friend delivers them. Whether the ring exchange is silent or scripted. All yours to decide; I will advise where helpful.

IV

What I Bring

The structure that holds it together. A written script we have refined together. Twenty-five years of knowing when to slow down and when to move forward. Calm if the rain starts, the rings drop, the dog walks in.

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Three Readings I Often Suggest

Words worth borrowing.

A reading does not have to be long, or famous, or in iambic pentameter. It has to mean something to you. Here are three that have meant something to many couples I have officiated.

I · Shakespeare

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

II · Robert Burns

A Red, Red Rose

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

— A Scottish reading especially suited to ceremonies that lean into the heritage. Reads beautifully in a soft Scottish accent if you have one on hand; otherwise, just read it as poetry.

III · Traditional Gaelic

A Marriage Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your faces,
the rain fall soft upon your fields,
and until we meet again,
may grace hold you in the palm of its hand.

— A traditional Gaelic blessing, often used to close a ceremony. The closing line can be written either with "God" (the original) or with "grace" (more inclusive) depending on what you choose.

These are three. There are many more. We will talk about what would suit you.

What Couples Most Often Ask

The honest answers.

It is scripted — that is the point. A ceremony without a script is a ceremony that wanders, runs long, loses moments, and forgets to land the important lines. What you mean by the question, I think, is whether it will feel rehearsed or wooden. It will not. I write the way people speak and I have officiated enough ceremonies to know how to deliver a written line so that it sounds spoken. The script holds the structure; the delivery makes it human.

Of course. I do not bring religious content into ceremonies unless couples ask for it. A secular ceremony is not a stripped-down version of a religious one — it is its own complete thing, with weight and beauty of its own. The vows, the promises, the witness of your guests, the legal pronouncement: none of these need a deity to be meaningful.

Yes. I served as a Christian minister for twenty years; biblical readings, prayers, and a sermon-style address are all within my comfort. For Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, or other religious elements, I am happy to incorporate them respectfully, often alongside a religious officiant of your tradition if appropriate. Tell me what matters to you and we will find a way to honour it.

This is more common than you'd think. I send couples a short set of prompts — questions about what you love, what you promise, what you fear, what you'd say if you could only say one thing — and the answers usually contain the vow. I can help shape what you have written into something that reads well aloud, or I can write vows based on what you have told me that sound like you. Either way, you will not stand at the front unprepared.

Twenty to twenty-five minutes is the sweet spot for most weddings. Twelve to fifteen for an elopement. Thirty if you want longer readings, multiple rituals, or family involvement. Anything past thirty starts losing the room — even the most patient guests have a limit. We will calibrate this together based on what matters to you.

Yes — and these ceremonies are often the most meaningful to write. A second marriage is not a footnote to a first; it is its own beginning. Children can be honoured in the ceremony if you wish — a few couples I have officiated have included their children in the vows, in a ring exchange, in a unity ritual. Tell me what matters about your particular situation and the ceremony will reflect it honestly.

Something usually does. The flower girl freezes; the ring is in the wrong pocket; the wind blows the script onto the lawn; the dog escapes and joins the procession. After two hundred and more ceremonies I have seen most of it. The job of the celebrant in these moments is to stay calm, keep the line of the ceremony intact, and make whatever happened feel like part of it. The day will be remembered for the moments that matter; small mishaps tend to become the stories your guests tell.

Begin the Conversation

Tell me about the two of you.

There is no pressure and no obligation — I would simply love to hear your story and see whether I might be the right person to stand at the front of it.

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